


Parallel Universes

by Star4545



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, M/M, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star4545/pseuds/Star4545
Summary: Dan Howell is a writer, but no amount of imagination could have prepared him for what he was going to experience. He didn't know how exactly it happened. It was a kind of fluke thing. That's the only way to explain it. An out of this universe fluke.





	1. One

I wake up on a normal day, expecting to see my room and manuscripts on my laptop that would be ready to be sent to my editor, but that wasn't there. The room I woke up in is incredibly unfamiliar. I sit up in the bed and look at my black and white duvet. It was so different from anything I own. I don't remember going out last night and I'm alone in this bed so I probably didn't sleep with anyone. I see a desk with a laptop on it and a messy line of shoes by the door.

I see a phone on my bedside table and quickly check it. It was a different iPhone then what I own, though I click the home button revealing the lock screen. The date read the date that was going to be my tomorrow. The day I was going to send my first manuscript to my editor. I see tons of notifications, most of them from Twitter which I ignore, and one from a contact named **dork.** It states, _Come to the kitchen. We need to talk and I need coffee._ I respond with an _k._

I get up, throwing on a worn-out Sunnydale High shirt with my Pokémon trainer sweatpants that I was already wearing. I glance around the room, laughing at the pillow with what I'm guessing is an anime character. I also spot a camera on the desk with a tripod next to the wide-open wardrobe with various items of black clothing sticking out with the few exceptions of color.

I sleepily walk out my door where I am incredibly lost. This flat was so unfamiliar to me, as I have never seen it before. I wondered where I was. If this was all an incredibly real dream. It almost seemed like that state where you aren't fully awake nor sleeping. I walk into a room with another man standing in it, who I guessed is the dork in my contact list. He notices my presence and looks over to me and I almost die. Standing right in front of me was Phil Lester in cookie monster pajama pants and a sonic shirt with glasses propped up on his nose. This is the man I only saw through a screen years ago.

"Good morning, sleepy head." He says, drinking a cup of coffee out of a One Direction mug. "I know we are in a bit of a tiff, but I made you some coffee." Phil points to the Nasa mug on the counter. I go over to it and let the coffee warm up my hands as I take a small sip as the coffee is still very hot. I try not to look at him as he has implied we are in a fight. I am surprised he even made me coffee if we are in some type of quarrel, but I ignore all guilt and drink the coffee.

"Thanks." I say quietly as I take another sip and purse my lips. My voice still sounds the same as it always has, like Winnie the Pooh. "I-I'm sorry-" I look at him and I can see a smug grin on his face. "-for snapping. I shouldn't do that." I wasn't exactly sure what we were fighting about but I always snap at people when I'm in the middle of something. If this person whose place I'm in is anything like me, they would do the same. I take another sip of my coffee, prepared just how I like it. Phil must know me as well because the way I like my coffee is complicated.

"You're forgiven… Sleeping without you was so hard. I miss your warmth." He says, staring into the mug, his cheeks reddening. It led me to wonder if Phil and I are super platonic besties, friends with benefits or lovers. This makes me think about the theme of sexuality. I never thought about it, I didn't care though. Whomever I end up loving, I love. But since we share a bed which led me more towards lovers and I didn’t mind. He wasn't bad looking and from what I remember of him, he is incredibly sweet. Questions started to pop in my mind. How long have we been together? Are we thinking of marrying each other at some point? Starting a family? Etc.…

"Yeah, I missed your cuddles." It was random but Phil looked like the cuddling type of person.

Phil starts to walk over to me and sets his coffee mug down. He kisses my cheek which makes me blush and look down. Phil laughs. I look up at him, full on eye contact. Crappy skype calls doesn't give him justice. His eyes are so vibrant and he has little freckles on his face that you could only see close. There was a little bit of stubble on his chin. How could I ever forget what he looks like. Somehow I did though. The last time I had seen his face was years ago, when we were both teenagers. He had ginger hair back then, now that hair is dark black. I set my halfway full mug on the counter and wrap my arms around Phil's neck. I couldn't cause any suspicion that I wasn't his lover.

"Love you so much, bear." That struck a nerve and took me a lot of energy not to cry. He used to call me that a lot. I don't know why that one nickname means so much. But a thoughtful nickname normally implies closeness. Yet we were so far apart. 

"Love you too, Phil." He places his lips on mine for a short second. His breath smelling of strong coffee, which I didn't mind and his cool glasses pressed against my face.

"I'm hungry. Cereal and anime?" Even though I have barely seen any anime, like am I supposed to know the character on my pillow? I nod my head. I go over to the cereal selection and take the one I have at my own home and realize it's almost done.

"Did you eat all my cereal…again?" Phil giggles, laughing and grabbing the Shreddies. I tsk and shake my head, realizing this is probably a frequent occurrence between us. We both make our breakfast and we go into the colorful lounge that had little figurines placed all around. I spotted little cacti placed on windowsills and plants in odd places.

Phil relaxes into the sofa crease and I do the same. He frowns at me as I sit on the other side of the couch and grabs a blanket. "Why are you so far away? Come here." I nod and move closer to him to make Phil happy. Our legs are pressed up against each other and I can feel warmth radiating off of him.

Phil then proceeds to turn on some anime but I can barely focus on it. It looked like something about ice skating. My mind racing on why I was here, where I was. What was this alternate reality? Was it because I have been working so hard on my manuscript that I need this domestic break with Phil? All I know is that I couldn't tell Phil that I wasn't his lover. I eat the cereal and then claim I need to use the bathroom. He frowns at me because we hadn't even finished the episode yet.

I put my cereal in the sink and then proceed to find the bathroom which took me a good five minutes. I gasp when seeing my reflection. It was me, the same me. My face was the exact same. I am still Dan Howell though this Dan didn't have dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep due to late night writing sessions. My hair was the curly mess I was used to. Everything was the same except for who I was. I might look the same but my whole life is different now.

I hoped finding out who this Dan is would be somewhat easy. I mean at least I have someone to ease me into this. I wonder if this Dan is now in my place. He is all alone in that huge flat. Yet I'm here with Phil and I'm completely lost. I feel sorry for whomever is in my place. It will be so stressful for them. I wonder what this Dan does for employment. I wonder a lot of things.

I go back upstairs and see Phil is no longer in the lounge, the television turned off. I wonder back into my room and go back to my phone, hoping to find some answers. I scroll through the twitter notifications, all from people who I didn't know. I unlock my phone, thanking god for fingerprint identification. Weirdly, my phone was organized the same way. I figure the thing that would give me some idea to who I am, is the camera roll. I click on the app. Hundreds of pictures, mainly of Phil and I, show up. A lot of them having the YouTube logo somewhere on it. Am I a YouTuber or just a huge YouTube fanboy? YouTube is such a dead thing, but I guess in this world it is still thriving.

I look through the photos and finally I get to the top which is an old photo of Phil and I. It makes my heart melt. It was just so adorable. Is that weird to think? Whatever, the photo was so cute. I smile, wishing memories would flood back but nothing came to mind because this isn't my life. I don't know Phil and I don't know this Dan. It takes me a minute to realize how clueless I am. I don't know anything about being a YouTuber! I'm a writer for god's sake. I'm no good at being outgoing. I'm an awkward writer who only make human contact when he absolutely has to. I would rather be in my room writing a book than be outside.

This whole thing scares me. I have to not only pretend to be 'Dan' for Phil but for however many fans I have. I go to my YouTube app, just to check how many subscribers I actually have. Over six million and I am done. I'm so scared. I have a good-sized fan-base in my world but I could never give a number. But seeing this number scares me. Because over six million people watch the videos I make and six million people depend on me. How am I to manage that?

I grab my laptop and go back to my bed. I lie prostrate on my bed and open the laptop. I am brought to the lock screen and I type in my own laptop password which seems to work and I look up my name on google. My eyes widen as I see how many things pop up. Dan Howell Instagram, YouTube, YouNow, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. I also realize the fact that Phil and I have published two books. Were YouTubers really that popular? I was almost beside myself. I had no idea that I was _this_ popular. I wish I could actually show my fascination without seeming like a werido.

I then decide to watch some of my YouTube videos as I had no idea what kind of content I make. I grab my earbuds from the bedside table and plug them in. The most recent video is untitled, _The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire,_ so I click on that. The movie pulls me in. I couldn't believe I performed a stage show and in America. It blew my mind. I got to the fanfiction IRL part which made me laugh a little bit as I used to read so much fanfiction in my teenager years that seeing something like this with my OTP would kill me. I loved the whole show, every single part of it. The song was incredibly catchy and I found myself humming quietly to it. I was becoming almost a fangirl of my own self and it was kind of weird. But I ignored it and continued to watch my own videos. I laughed at the awkward moments and awed at the old videos of me and Phil. It was cool to see this person, who is me but not me, and see my whole life with  different experiences.


	2. Two

It's different scenery and at first I think this is all a prank Phil was playing on me. We're in a fight and sometimes Phil can go to extreme lengths to get to apologize. Normally it's some version of the silent treatment or eating all my cereal to purposefully annoy me or even playing Hello Internet. Making this seem so out of hand, I'm questioning how Phil accomplished it. I'm surprise he is even mad enough to pull a big prank like this one. The only reason why I snapped at him was because he kept annoying me with little facts to get my attention while I was editing a new _Danisnotonfire_ video. I just can't believe it pissed him off this much.

I get out of my bed and look around the room I'd woken up in. There is a huge bookshelf with tons of books and DVDs piled onto it. There was a nice sized desk and a wardrobe that was closed. Everything was neatly placed and I realize this isn’t my room and this most definitely isn't of Phil's doing. I walk out of the room to come across a hallway. "Phil?!" I scream out, hoping for a response though the only thing I hear is an echo of my own voice.

I walk down the hallway to come across an open space kitchen/lounge. It was decorated with modern furniture and had a very nice feel to it. I let my sock clad feet slide across the wooden floor to wear I see an iPhone resting on the counter top. I unplug it and realize it's an iPhone 5 which makes me want to vomit but I continue because at least I know I have Wi-Fi. I open the phone, it prompting me to put in a password. I don't even have to think about the four-digit passcode: 0130. Phil's birthday. I wonder what significance those four numbers hold to whomever this is. Tons of reminders start to pop up on my screen shouting, **EMAIL MANUSCRIPT TO PJ!** This makes me confused. Why do I have a manuscript? I look at the apps on my phone. Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Wattpad, etc.… But no YouTube. I frown. Why no YouTube? I'm a YouTuber after all, but maybe whoever this is, isn't.

I go onto my photos, hoping for them to show me some insight into whose phone this is and I can't believe it. The person in all these photos is me, yet a different me. I look at one picture, a man who looks identical to me is holding a book close to his chest, face scrunched up in a mix of excitement and happiness. That man who is wearing a galaxy shirt and black jeans. And is that nail polish on his fingers?! I am all about abolishing gender roles but who was this man. I look at my fingers now, chipped black nail polish was present on my fingers. I scroll up, wandering about Phil. Where is Phil? Why is Phil's birthday the passcode? I almost start to hyperventilate because what am I going to do without Phil? I've been around him for seven years I can't just not be around him anymore especially in such a strange place. I hope this is a dream, I really hope so.

Then I see it, the glimmer of hope because there is an old, blurry picture of Phil on skype with messy ginger hair and a baggy sweatshirt on, pencil behind his ear. I take a sigh of relief. The universe has realigned itself. This person - weird author version of me - knows Phillip Lester. Or at least used to as that photo is from 2009. I wonder if we ever met or what happened between us?

I put the phone down, desperately wanting Phil to jump out of the cupboard and make some pancakes for us. Though I am all alone in this beautiful flat with a manuscript to send in. There is a laptop lying on the coffee table in the lounge and I decide to eat something and then actually do what I am supposed to. I find some cereal I'm used to eating and make a bowl of it. It is so weird to see actual milk instead of the almond milk I usually drink because of Phil's lactose intolerant issue.

I take that bowl to the crème colored couch and get into a comfortable position before going on the laptop. I type in my usual password which works and see dozens of sticky notes pilled on the desktop all about this manuscript that I need to send in. I find it incredibly fast and have to keep myself from reading it as sending it in is more important at the moment. I go to the send option and see PJ (whom I'm guessing is an editor or publicist)'s email. I type up a quick note and send the manuscript on its way. I take a deep breath even though I hadn't even written it, just accomplishing that task seemed to take a load off. I decide then to read the manuscript of the book the author version of me is writing. The premise reminded me a little bit of _Your Lie in April_. The love story was just so vivid and ugh I had to commend the guy for writing such a well thought out and amazing story. The guy was so nerdy and I couldn't help but think of Phil. I was so hopelessly in love with that dork. The girl seemed very up in the clouds and seemed like such a beautiful person. I was in love with this book. I wished it was real and I could tell Phil all about it and buy it… Phil.

I end up reading all of it. It was so amazing that I couldn't stop expect for the five minutes where I had to respond to PJ's email. Once done, I couldn't believe it. I didn't want it to end and everything was so perfect and I love good books. Phil would have loved this book. I wonder if the author Dan is in my place. If he made amends with Phil like I was planning to do.

I then wander back to my phone where a few text messages pop up with a couple of notifications from various apps. _Wattpad: @theultimatetrashcan has commented on your story._ I furrow my eyebrows and slide the notification for the app to pop up. I know what Wattpad is considering the amount of fanfiction I read and the amount of fanfiction that is posted about me on there is overwhelming. I see that I have written many stories but not one since 2012 though I still keep the app. Most stories I published are fanfictions which I am not surprised about. Anything from Johnlock to Larry Stylinson, it seemed like I had written it all. I explore the app; I didn't have a lot of stories in my library nor any recent stories added to my reading lists. I try and find a reason why I would keep this app if I never use it.

I find my answer in messages. I see I had messages with a user by the name @amazingphil. I couldn't think of any other Phil that could be. That had to be my Phillip. I scroll all the way up, hoping to understand where Phil is in this universe. Most of it was typical internet friend talk. It seemed like I was close with Phil. The messages start to be less frequent once Phil asks for author Dan (that's what I'm going to call this other me)'s skype.  The last message gets me though. It was from author Dan who wrote to Phil.

 _@danisnotonfire: Phil, I don't know where you are or what happened to you. You haven't responded to me in weeks. Just know I'm here. I always am. I'll even come and visit if you need. I know I don't have the money but a train from London to Manchester can't be that difficult to find. Phil please. Just let me know if you're okay. -_ July 17th, 2015, 10:30 am.

I wonder if Phil was depressed, if he committed. I couldn't even think about that without bursting into tears. I shouldn’t be so dependent on him but he helped me through my rough times. Maybe just maybe in this universe, Phil is the one having a rough time.

I click on his profile, his stories being newer and more novels than fanfictions though there are a few. I mentally tell myself to read some of his stories later. I check his message board seeing a message from the same day author Dan had sent that message _._

_@amazingphil: I was attacked by a bear today._

I must consider that though my Phil would probably mean this literally because stuff like this could potentially happen to him and I wouldn't be surprised.  Though this Phil was a writer and I know that Phil always calls me bear. So maybe he is talking about author Dan. But what did author Dan ever do to him. Why was the sweet message that author Dan sent be at all attacking? Maybe Phil is overwhelmed or maybe I'm too naïve to figure out what exactly is happening. I wonder what would happen if I tried to call Phil's number to figure this all out. Is it the same? Would he pick up? Maybe I can try skype. I figured I would do that another time and with that I go to my still unanswered text messages.

_Louise: Dan, I heard that Phil Lester is releasing a novel._

I assumed like in my world, Louise is a dear friend so I respond to her in a way I would in this situation.

_Dan: Really?_

_Louise: YESH! I knew you still care about him! You say you don't but you so do._

_Dan: I didn't mean it in the caring way, Louise. It's just that I'm surprised._

_Louise: Why? Didn't you tell me that you knew Phil was going to end up a writer? You used to scream every time he updated. You were such a fangirl._

I wasn't surprised. My stalking of Phil in one way or another had seemed to lead to something. In my case, a loving relationship and in this case an asshole who never told author Dan anything.

_Dan: I was not a fangirl. I just admired his writing style._

_Louise: Sure…_

_Louise: Anyway, did you send in your manuscript???_

_Dan: Yup._

_Louise: You should let me read it one day._

_Dan: You'll read it when it is a New York Times Bestseller._

_Louise: Ugh._

_Louise: Anyway are you still coming with me to bookcon tomorrow._

I could only imagine what bookcon would entail and I hoped that it would not involve me going to talk about my new novel.

_Dan: Of course I am._

_Louise: Cool pick you up at 11_

_Dan: Awesome._

I then go back to the home screen on my phone. I see the skype app on there and I click on it haphazardly. I see my only friend on there are Phil. I purse my lips and click on his profile. The dot was green signaling he was online and it took everything in me to not call him. I look at our previous messages.

_Danisnotonfire: Phil?_

_Danisnotonfire: Why are you not answering?_

_Danisnotonfire: What did I do?_

_Danisnotonfire: Phil… I'm sorry. Please, sunshine._

Some part of me feels extreme empathy. I remember going weeks without contacting Phil and they were hell, yet all these messages are from 2015. There is a significant gap of messages from 2012 to 2015. I can't imagine not talking to Phil and I wish all was simple and I could just call him and tell him everything. Alas I can't, though I am unaware of how long I'll be able to last in this author Dan world without saying a word.


	3. Three

Only after hours of mindlessly searching the internet for any information about the youtubers Dan and Phil and falling asleep multiple times, only for me to wake up with a dead computer on my lap and sun shining into my room, I go to see where Phil is. He is in his bed, watching _Friends_ on the TV in his room. I almost laugh at the contrast between our two rooms. His rooms light and mine dark. He sees me and pauses the program.

"Hey bear, where have you been?" I walk over to him and sit down on the bed next to me. He pulls me close to him, so I am in his arms.

"I-I…" I try to think of an excuse. "I was in my room. I felt kinda drowsy so I relaxed." Phil kisses my forehead.

"Well you have the right. Do you want to watch _Friends_?" I nod and enjoy his body heat. I lie my head on his shoulder and I can see him smile as he clicks play. He immediately gets sucked back into the show and along with watching the show, I keep my eyes on him. I realize how he keeps glancing at me at certain times and I look back to the TV.

I put my arms around his neck, causing him to look at me and I place my lips on his. He chuckles and moves away so he can pause his beloved show. Then he goes back to me and starts to kiss me again. I can't help but think about my characters in my novel, Beatrice and Lincoln. How they kiss and feel. That's how I feel in this moment with Phil. Like these couple moments could only occur in a book. Then again this whole situation was anything but ordinary. But I try to focus on Phil's wonderful lips.

He bites my lip making me breathless and he sticks his tongue in my mouth. I had never really kissed a boy before, though I thought about kissing Phil more times than I could count. It feels wonderful. The way he was so gentle and rough and the feeling of stubble against my face and cool glasses pressed against my face as well. He was just so perfect. The living embodiment of Lincoln.

The velocity of our kissing led me to wonder how far we have gotten or if I would want to continue. He has moved away from my mouth now, his glasses now taken off, and is expertly kissing my neck in all the right places and biting at just the exact moments. I was a mess. I couldn't exactly tell if he was turned on but I definitely was. I could hear Phil saying little things like, "Good." and "Like that." He kept mumbling them under his breath like he was making sure he was doing everything right. Checking off an imaginary list of little things I like. I wish I could tell him how cute that is and I notice it, but I was so blissed out and now he is removing my shirt. He smiles at me before I nudge him to take off his. God, his torso is perfect. He is lanky and doesn't really have a tummy. I notice little freckles on his body and little purple marks which I can only guess were fading hickies. Okay, so they've done this before. It's in this moment when Phil notices the tent in my pants. He smirks but begins to place small kisses down my stomach right to where my sweatpants go up to. I gaps and manage to leave a very noticeable hicky on his collarbone which makes him groan. 

"This okay?" I nod, not being able to form words. "Can I take off your sweatpants?"

"Yeah, yeah go ahead." He smirks before pulling them down ever so slowly. He takes his off and I finally notice his hard on as well. Now both of us were left in boxers. I place my lips back on his, hungry for more. He lies me down on his bed and I enjoy his red, swollen lips on mine. Every so often he would roll his hops against mine, causing me to groan.

"D-Dan," He whispers against my lips. "We've never gone this far before. D-Do you want to…" He trails off but I know what he talking about. I feel wrong. Their first time is something the actual Dan should experience with Phil. Not me.

"I-I don't think I'm ready. I'm sorry for getting you so worked up." I say, referencing to his hard on. He shakes his head, kissing my lips.

"No problem, bear. I love you."

"I love you too." I say, placing my arms around his neck so I could play with the small hairs behind his neck. He sloppily kisses me before rolling onto his back beside me and he looks up at the ceiling.

How did youtuber Dan get so lucky? Phil is just too perfect for this world. He's not bothered that we aren't going father even though he is hard and probably wants to and he is smiling like what we did made his day, with a big dopey grin. Gosh, he is just so adorably.

"I heard you." I say, hoping he knows what I mean. He blushes.

"Well we have been dating three years, Dan and when you are ready I want it to be amazing, that's all." Three years and no sex. I almost laugh. It must be something with Dan because Phil seemed more than ready.

"You're adorable." He blushes even more.

"Thanks." That grin is still overtaking his face. I wonder if my Lincoln in my novel is semi based on Phil. I mean we were somewhat friends for a couple years, maybe I subconsciously made this character just like Phil because that was the closest I could ever be to him. In my teenage years I wrote tons of stories of us finally meeting and falling in love. Though I never thought of this possibility. Parallel universes, I would have to remember that one.

"Do you believe in parallel universe?" I ask, without even thinking. I know I wouldn't tell him today, I just needed some input to make sure I wasn't going crazy.

"Yeah, I guess." He says, simply.  "I think for every decision you make there is a parallel universe for whatever choice you didn’t go with."

"I believe in them." He looks over at me, both of us laid out on our backs, hands intertwined between us.

We sit in silence for what seems like forever, enjoying each other's company. It was nice. All I could think about was Phil. His name danced around in my head like nothing else mattered. This is what love feels like. I've only really known this Phil for less than 24 hours but I love him. No matter how much anxiety my Phil in my universe caused me, this Phil brings me love. I'm starting to think that maybe this Dan and I are connected. Like his love for Phil transferred over to me and instead of this all being some act to ensure Phil knows I'm still Dan, it's actual love. Love that is impossible to gain in less than twenty four hours only it's a love at first sight romance novel. I wish I could experience all of Dan's old memories and though his videos express many of them, I still want to experience them for myself. I want to feel what it was like to meet Phil and to kiss him for the first time and everything because something within keeps stating that Phil and I in my universe aren't going to work. We haven't met, he hasn't talked to me in ages, and this leads me to think it wasn't going to happen.

"Dan… what's wrong?" Absent-minded tears flood down my face. They are created small puddles for small kids to jump in across Phil's duvet. I can't tell him, I keep telling myself. I shake my head, wipe my tears away, and engulf Phil into a hug, his body heat saving me.

I soon get up and exit the room heading back to mine. I felt sick. Like I was going to projectile vomit. I needed to go to bed, yet I couldn't. My brain rushing and racking with information I needed to let out. Normally I would call Louise or sometimes even PJ and just let it all out though I was unsure if they even existed here. If I even knew them. I go to my phone and scroll through my contracts, releasing a huge sigh when seeing Louise's name. I want to call her. I want to call her so bad. Though it is getting late and anything at this point could be taken as mass hysteria due to lack of sleep. I decide to wait till morning, hoping I can hold out.

Phil knocks on my door a few minutes later. "Pizza and American Horror Story?" He asks and as soon as hearing American Horror Story, I respond.

"Yup." I go to meet Phil in the corridor. I think he knows not to bring my crying up.

I go into the lounge as  he orders pizza. I spot our book, _Dan and Phil Go Outside_ on the bookshelf and take it out to look at. I look at all the memories that we shared together. I laugh at all the derpy photos of the two of us. I want to live in these pictures. I want to encase myself in this life with Phil because I know some day I'll go back to my Phil-less reality. The one where he hates me.

Phil comes up from downstairs with a pizza a couple minutes later and I'm still immersed in the book. I wanted to never leave it. I wanted it by my side always, I want Phil by my side always. Though pizza meant American Horror Story and that meant Evan Peters, so my crazy Phil filled thoughts would have to wait a little bit. He plops down next to me before getting up again to get plates, napkins, and two glasses of Ribena. He then plops down next to me and turns on American Horror Story which I was incredibly excited about.

I think watching AHS and eating dinner with Phil is the most present I've been in this universe. The whole time I've been so enclosed in my thoughts but watching this show that is for some reason the exact same in my universe got me out of my thoughts. Maybe it was seeing something familiar. A constant in my life at home that has traveled here with me. Plus, American Horror Story is amazing. After the episode, Phil and I have a heated conversation about it before he says he wants to play Mario Kart to which I reply, "You're on."

Mario Kart another constant in my life. Whenever I felt writer's block and didn't want to go and find something inspiring, I let my mind rest by playing Mario Kart. I beat Phil. I beat Phil in every race we played except two, to which he responded good game and left it there. Though I knew he felt sour as he kept pouting and I knew from watching enough Danandphilgames videos the one thing that would make him somewhat happy was, "How about all or nothing?" I ask. "If you win, I'll do whatever." Phil smirks and gets back into game mode. This was now somewhat serious and without paying any attention, he beat me and on Baby Park as well. The easiest level on the game! I gasp in shock while he does his victory dance, before pecking me on the lips unexpectedly.

"Hmmm, what do I want Danny Boy to do?" I cringe at the nickname but wait patiently for my punishment. "In the next video we make together, you have to wear an outfit I pick out for you." That one would be hard to explain to actual youtuber Dan, but I nod accepting the punishment. "You have no idea what you're in for." He says before letting out a giggle. I really didn't know what I was in for.


	4. Four

It's the next day when I realize I'll actually have to go outside today and pretend to be author Dan. This would be interesting. Me, waking up at a late 10 o'clock, rushed out of bed because Louise specifically told me she would be over at 11:15. I go into the bathroom and quickly strip to take a shower. The warm water hits my body and I immediately relax. I start to sing out some random song that came to mind. One thing I did not miss right now was Phil's shower solos of songs that used to be wonderful before Phil started to sing them in the shower. That could be a whole new Dan and Phil album itself. It was include _My Heart Will Go On_ and many different Muse songs I can listen to again. I get out and soon realize I can't straighten my hair, this author version me wore his hair curly. I take a deep breath and brush out my soon to be mildly curly hair.

I go into my room and look through my wardrobe which seemed to be in order of most colorful to least. I mindlessly flick through items of clothing I would wear. Through my searching I come across a black skirt and my mouth opens a little bit. Was this version of me comfortable enough to wear a skirt? No matter how much I hate gender roles, I could never imagine myself wearing a skirt. I take out a pair of black jeans and pick out a dark blue/black jumper that looked like a galaxy was exploding all over the front. Author Dan must wear it often because the sleeves wear stretched out and I could easily make sweater paws. I put in my black earrings that had little stars inside them. I was the literal embodiment of the _Space Boy Dan_ that is always present in fanfictions.

I slip on some white shoes before heading to the kitchen to eat some breakfast before the sudden realization came to me that American Horror Story came on last night and I wonder if Phil watched it without me or with the other Dan. I try to take it out of my mind and check my emails on my laptop while eating breakfast. I see an email from PJ which states:

_Hey Dan the Man,_

_Love your manuscript! I corrected a couple things but it's pretty good for the most part. I'm sending it back to you to fix a few things I made comments on that you could approve on. Please send it to me by the end of this month._

_Great first draft,_

_PJ Liguori._

I smile and delete a couple spam emails. I make a note for author Dan to complete his manuscript. Then I hear a knock on my door. I smile and close my computer, grabbing my key, wallet, and phone/earbuds before opening the door to Louise. She looks the same as she does in my universe. "Dan Howell, actually ready to go on time? What a surprise."

"Nice to see you too, Louise." She brings me into a tight hug. She feels like home. I wish I could tell her everything, but I couldn't. We step outside and it takes me a minute to realize I'm still in London. At least I'm somewhere familiar. We go and head to an underground station. I let her lead me to wherever we are going for this bookcon thing.  I felt increasingly jumpy on the tube. I just wanted to skip the journey to get to the destination, though I did have some good conversation with Louise on our way. She happily exclaimed how well her book was doing and she couldn't wait to introduce me to all her successful author friends which mad me a little nervous.

We get to the small convention center this bookcon was being held. It was a nice little area I had to admit. We get in and Louise grabs my wrist and drags me a man who I know as Chris Kendall, who is standing behind a table with a bunch of copies of his books on it. He smiles at me. "Dan meet Chris Kendall. Chris this is Dan." He smiles at me and outstretches his hand to me because even though we were close friend, he doesn't know me now.

"Hey, nice to meet you." I say and shake his hand. He nods. I let go of his hand and look around to a bunch of people I knew as Youtubers here as authors which make me laugh a little bit. Though there were plenty of other people I didn't recognize. I guess this was this reality's version of Vidcon. Louise is now animatedly talking to Chris. I tap her shoulder and tell her I'm going to look around. Which meant find a quiet place and listen to some music. 

I walk around to a couple booths, smiling at all these people that I know but they don't me. I was just about to hibernate into a spot when two teenage girls come running over to me. "You're Dan Howell, right? Dan is not on fire?" She says, saying every word in my username separate from each other. I almost cringe.

"Jeez Sarah, it's danisnotonfire. Making it separate words sounds weird. Sorry for my living flop of a friend. We love your stories on Wattpad." The girl known as Sarah nods in agreement. I smile.

"Thank you so much. Do you want a picture or something." The girl whose name I don't know nods excitedly.

"I'm Maggie by the way." She says as she hands me her phone.

"Hello Maggie and Sarah." I say, posing for a selfie with my signature peace signs. They smile as I hand the girl her phone back.

"Thanks Dan!" They both say running off.

"Dan…" I hear from beside me. I look there and standing there is Phil Lester. I want to faint. He is wearing a white button down covered in little cacti with black jeans and a white and green flower crown plopped on his ginger hair. I've never really seen ginger Phil in person and that's something I never knew I needed in life. He has a book held to his chest, a backpack on his back. He looks scared like he wants to run away, which he does after we make eye contact. He drops his book and runs off.

I pick up his book, seeing it is the one he has written. I laugh as the title are _Houseplants._ I shake my head and go in the general direction I saw him run off in. I see him at the end of a quiet hallway and he is slumped against the wall, panting and out of breath. He looked so beautiful, though in my eyes Phil always looks beautiful. "You really called your book, _Houseplants?"_ I ask, playfulness hidden in my tone. Phil looks like he has seen a werewolf or something and wants to run off. He was scared of facing me. I sit next to him and hand him the book. We were close, our shoulders were close to touching.

I look over to him, his eyes shining and he looks at me. "Thanks." It rolls off his tongue. His accent was somewhat more northern than it normally is, only by a tad.

"I'm sorry." It seemed like a correct thing to say in the moment.

"No I'm sorry. I was going through a rough time and I never responded to you. It was a little much." I nod.

"What happened?" I doubt he will tell me, but I pry anyway.

"Uh… I, um, lost some significant people in my life." I pat his back, wishing I could give him a reassuring kiss on the cheek or hand squeeze. My prior assumptions of something happening and him being in bad place were proven true. "I was really bad, Dan."

"I offered to come visit." He smiles a little bit, grabbing my hand and putting it in his lap.

"We both know you didn't have the money." I nod, and enjoy Phil holding my hand. "I should have told you. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

"Oh course, you spoon." He smirks.

"I can't believe you are here." He says, looking at our hands. My black nail polish was chipping. I would have to re-do it soon.  I smile.

"Still not over your book title." He laughs.

"Speaking of, do you have a pen?" I shake my head and lets go of my hand to take off his backpack to scour through it for one.

His backpack was pastel blue and it looked very full from what I could tell. Phil soon finds a pen and grabs his book before scribbling something in it before giving it to me. "Here's a present." I hold the book to my chest. I felt as if it was 2009 all over again. The small touches and shy actions, awkward conversations filling the silence. I was meeting Phil all over again. I look down at the book and open the front cover to where it says:

_Dan Howell, my pretty, galaxy friend, here is my phone number. Call me one day for a cheeky coffee (or tea, I don't discriminate) date.  - Phil xo._

I laugh. "Definitely will take you up on that, Philly." He smiles and grabs my hand once again.

I lie my head on his shoulder. He smelt like a flower field. I inhale his scent and close my eyes. I want to stay here forever with Plant Boy Lester. He wraps his arm around my torso, probably thinking the same thing I am. I don't want to leave this moment ever. I wrap my arms around his neck and it seems like we know each other like it's just kind of normal. I don't know how we stayed like that in the corridor, with Phil reciting little poems, quotes, and lyrics to me.

"PHIL! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!" We immediately separate as Chris runs over to us. "Amanda will literally kill me if I'm not home by four and it's almost 3:40." Phil rolls his eyes before getting up and brushing himself off.

"You need to stop letting your girlfriend control your life, man." Phil looks back to me and extends a hand to help me up. I grab it and he hauls me up.

"I know but we need to leave now." Phil flashes me a sympathetic smile. He faces me and grabs my hands.

"Coffee date, yeah?" He says, smiling. The smile I love where his tongue pokes ever so slightly out of his mouth.

"Yeah." I say smiling. His smile becomes wider. I kiss his cheek which makes his blush.

"Get a room, you two." Chris says, causing Phil to drop my hands.

"Bye danisnotonfire!" Phil says, waving as Chris drags him away.

"Bye amazingphil!" I stay in the corridor for a good five minutes after he was long gone. I just re-met Phil. A whole new Phil as well. The hot author one, that has a cacti shirt. I needed to try and find that shirt in my universe so I can buy it for my Phil.

I walk out of the hallway back into the big convivial area. Louise was standing by the doorway with crossed arms, I quickly check my phone seeing multiple texts from her and I walk over to her. She hits my arm. "Where have you been?"

"I met Phil." Louise's eyes widen.

"Nevermind then." We start to exit and go back to the underground station.

I make my way back to my apartment. Louise had gotten off a different stop so she could head home. I walk from the stop back to author Dan's apartment and let my thoughts wander off. They are all about Phil. I feel like I'm falling in love all over again and no matter how much I am interested about this Phil, I miss my own. I would have to try to stall this coffee date till author Dan comes back.


	5. Five

I remember going to sleep. I remember kissing Phil until he complained how tired he was and made me cuddle close to him to fall asleep in his bedroom. I remember Phil whispering small 'I love you's' into my ear to lull me into a deep slumber. Now I have never practiced lucid dreaming so how am I so immersed in this dream.

I'm in a field of yellow with pastel pink and purple skies, the moon in the air. I walk over to a red, plaid blanket and sit on it. I close my eyes before looking around. There was a forest of blue trees surrounding the field. I pull my long legs up to my chest. A couple minutes later, someone sits next to me. I gasp, it's me. One with my favorite outfit adorned on his body.

"Hi." I say. He looks over to me, gasping. I realize I can control what I'm saying.

"This is weird." Youtuber version of me says.

"No shit." I reply. He's eying me and I look at my outfit. Black eclipse shirt and black skinny jeans.

"Even in this dream world, that shirt haunts me." He lies down and I stay in my seated position.

"How'd this all happen?" Other version of me shrugs and I take a piece of yellow grass out of the ground to twirl it around my finger.

"My theory is so I could help you meet Phil, which I did,  and you could enjoy my loving relationship." He says as if it no big deal.

"You met Phil?" My heart starts to beat. Would I have a Phil of my own? No, that man hurt you, Dan. You shouldn't maintain contact.

"He's sorry. He lost people. That's why he never talked to you." I frown. I don't ever want to see Phil upset. "And he wants a coffee date. But how's my Phil? I miss him terribly." I could hear the longing in his voice. It's obvious those two are insanely in love.

"He is amazing." I see him smile. "I made up with him for you, but he is such a cutie."

"Ugh, I want to go home and see him and kiss him and-" He said, eyes closed like he is dreaming of returning to his lover.

"I think Phil is ready to do it with you… me… us." Dan looks over to me.

"I know." I look at him.

"Then why not. I mean you guys are in love." He turns away, picking up some grass to twirl around as well.

"I'm scared he won't like me if it isn't up to par." I feel a sense of sadness.

"That shouldn't determine anything and I'm pretty sure whatever happens will be great. Happy ending always happen in books and you two are something out of a romance novel." He turns back to me. It has become silent. "Did you send in the-"

"Taken care of." I release a sigh of relief.

I try to scoot over before I hit something and fall backward. It was like there is an invisible wall blocking us from touching. "What just happened?" He asks, sitting up touching the wall.

"I dunno. Do you figure this is why we are stuck in each other's body? Maybe this happened in our dreams before and we got switched and we don't remember." The other Dan laughs and shrugs.

"Seems reasonable. Maybe we should try and break the 'wall'" He says, doing air quotes.

"Break it with what?" I say.

Other Dan pushes his hands firmly on the wall and starts to push it, whilst I sit there. Maybe if I just think hard enough something will appear. I dream of a battering ram or anything that would break it. I get a hammer. I shrug and start to break the wall. Other Dan is mildly surprised and gains himself a hammer. We break one big hole and I touch his arm, my own arm. He smiles at me and I climb through the hole onto his side and he climbs back to his side.

The sky turns darker and stars soon appear changing the whole scene to be dark and dead. The grass turns a dark green, like it is supposed to be. The leaves on the tress turn yellow and orange before falling and losing the leaves in the dark grass. I look over to Dan. He is haphazardly looking around, like I'm doing myself. Everything starts to turn white, before I wake up in a bed with a jolt.

 It's bright outside, the first thing I realize, before taking into account that this is my room. My actual room. I let myself sink into my pillows and I laugh, I laugh really loud. Was it all a dream? I am unsure though I remember all the events clearly and rush to the kitchen to get my laptop just in case everything decides to fade away. That's when I see a text from Phil. I scroll through our previous conversation that we had on imessage before looking at the new message.

_Plant Boy: Wanna have a breakfast coffee date? Xx_

I look at the time, just pasted ten and the message was sent five minutes ago.

_Me: Sure._

He sends me some details and I write a couple ideas down before taking a shower and getting ready for this supposed date with Phil. I put on a pastel pink collared shirt with little white stars on it with some black jeans. I put in my black earring and put on my only pair of casual shoes. I grab my wallet, phone, earbuds, and keys before heading out into busy London.

While on the Tube, I play some music (Panic at the Disco's Pretty Odd album) through my earbuds and write some more ideas down from my weird 'dream?' I get off at the appropriate stop, seeing the coffee place Phil decides he wants to meet at. I pause my music before walking in, seeing a pile of ginger hair hunched over writing in a notebook. I smile and sit next to him, he doesn't even notice I'm there while he furiously scribbles down words. I tap his shoulder which makes his jump and takes him out of his inspired state. He quickly shuts his notebook and smiles widely at me. I take his appearance into my mind. He is wearing a green button up that has pink flowers on it and blue Demin jeans. His blue eyes meet my brown ones. I see his mouth moving but hear no words.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" He giggles, covering his mouth.

"I said, do you want to order something?" I nod and we go to order some coffee and pastries. After getting the desired hot drinks and warm pastries, we sit back down. Phil is smiling widely while drinking his coffee. I take a couple bites of my muffin.

"Favorite book?" He asks me as if he doesn't already know from hours of skype calls just a couple years ago.

"You already know it." I say.

"Of course I do. Just wondering if it's changed." I shake my head. "Mine hasn't ether." He takes a sip of coffee, me a bite of muffin. Our feet sometimes bumping underneath the table. It was weird since we already knew a lot about each other, normal first date questions aren't asked.

"When are you releasing a novel, Howell?" He asks. My face immediately brightens. I love talking about my novel.

"Whenever my publisher deems it perfect. It's almost there, I feel it." Phil grabs my hand.

"Can't wait to read it." He's acting sweet, just like those skype calls that would last till both of us were dead asleep.

I take a sip of my coffee and we chat about new music or TV shows we enjoy, both agreeing that American Horror Story is amazing. But debating which season is superior. When there was a lull in conversation, Phil would say a random lyric or quote and comment on it. He was really something else.

"Want to come over to my flat for a bit? We can play Mario or listen to Muse or something?" I smile at Phil's proposal, remembering the intense Mario Kart session back in the other universe.

"Sure." We finish our coffee and throw it away before leaving the café.

He starts to lead me to his apartment by grabbing my hand and tugging me down busy London streets. I look down at my hands, I was in dire need of a manicure. But the feeling of my heart thumping in my chest overcame the feeling of chipped nail polish. Though I would have Louise do paint nails with me soon. Phil brings me to an apartment complex and unlocks the door to his flat.

He throws his keys on an entry way table before leading me to what I'm guessing is his bedroom. On my way, I take in the amount of dying plants around the house. He leads me to his room. I see pens and paper scattered across the desk and Phil almost immediately flops down on the bed. I look around and he sits up before I go over to him to kiss his cheek. It makes him blush and I giggle. Phil gets out his phone and starts to play some music before putting his phone on his bedside table. I sit next to Phil on his bed and he kisses me.

He kisses me and kisses me. I don't tell him to stop. I don't tell him to not stick his tongue in my mouth or not to take off my shirt. I let him. I let him kiss down my shirtless torso without even thinking about it. He unbuckles my beat without a glance. He just does and he unbuttons my jeans all while kissing me rigorously. I try and keep up. I take off his shirt and get his pants off, but I'm obviously not fast enough. Phil is desperate for friction and is rubbing his boxer clad crotch against my naked one. I don't even know when he managed to get those off me. Though I go with it. I take his off and he flips me so I'm lying on my stomach.

I don't know what is even happening before it's over. It's over and he is yelling at me at the top of his lungs. Screaming at me and telling me I'm a slut. I don't even remember anything, it all flying by. He is throwing clothes at my dirty body and telling me to get out. He is in a rage. A hot fiery rage. I scream back. I'm in pain and crying. He is calling me a wuss. He is still naked and so am I. I don't have the energy to put my clothes back on. All I feel is pain, inside and out.

"GET OUT!" He shouts.

"I CAN'T MOVE." He rolls his eyes and pushes me off the bed. I shakily get up and get on my clothes in little moves. "I HATE YOU!"

"Good, you should." I want the other Phil. The one that makes lists of what I like and plays Mario against me. Not this asshole who uses me as a good fuck and tells me to get out.

"I thought you were good."

"You're so in the clouds, Daniel. So lost in your happy endings. These is real life. Deal with it and come back soon for more." I scoff and walk out. Whatever happened to my Phil? My sweet Phil. Why do all good things come to an end? Phil Lester used to be good, though he is now corrupted and I don't know how to save him. Where is my Beatrice and Lincoln moment?

I go home and cry. I can only wonder what compelled sweet big blue eyed Phil Lester to have violent sex with me on the first date and then yell at me. Maybe something was triggering. Maybe I was triggering. Either way, my phone is now buzzing with I'm sorry texts from Phil.

_Plant Boy: I'm sorry._

_Plant Boy: Don't know what happened._

_Plant Boy: Dan…_

_Plant Boy: Please._

And I respond: _Leave me alone, Phil. I'm scared and hurt._

The texts don't stop. I throw my phone across the room, hearing the shatter. I cry more.

I'll never get my fairy tale moment because Phil isn't my prince. It's just destine for us to never be together.


	6. Six

The first I realize when I wake up is Phil's duvet. His bright blue and green bedsheets. I feel his body heat up against mine and I sigh. I curl up into his touch and bring the duvet up to my nose, inhaling the sweet scent. Phil tightens his grip around my waist like he doesn't want to leave me. I turn around so I can look at him. He is growing some stubble and he looks peaceful as he is deep in his slumber. I kiss his cheek before looking at him and I can see him smile and pucker his lips. I couldn't tell if he did this subconsciously or not, but I kiss his sweet lips before closing my eyes to try to fall back asleep. Though my awake mind made it impossible.

"Dan." Phil sleepily mumbles before opening his eyes slightly. "Good morning."

"Love you." Phil lets out a sound of satisfaction and I know it's too early for 'I love you's' but I needed him to know. I see him try to open his eyes so he could wake up, but they always end up closing. I push his hair away from his face and kiss his cheek again. His eyes open managing to capture my lips in a quick kiss.

"Mmm, need coffee." He feels around for his glasses on his bedside table and puts them on.

"Me too," I say and get out of bed. He watches me before leaving the bed himself.

I grab my phone from the bedside and we head to the kitchen for breakfast. He heads for the coffee pot while I look at my cereal choices for the day and get out two bowls. I decide on Sheddies and Phil nods in agreement and I make his bowl as well. He goes over to the fridge to get his almond milk and comes over to me so we can make our breakfast side by side.

When the coffee is ready, we retreat to the lounge to start eating and we start an episode of Yuri On Ice. Phil every so often takes glances at me and laughs. "Why are you laughing so much?"

"Just thinking about the bet I won yesterday." I'm sat there wondering what the other Dan had agreed to. "It's going to great as we need to film a gaming video today." Still confused, I nod. We haven’t uploaded a gaming video in what seemed like forever.

After breakfast, I retreat upstairs to set everything up for a new Dil video while Phil goes to 'pick my clothes out.' I shake my head, can't believing I'm going to sacrifice my aesthetic for a bet I didn't even make, but Phil didn't know that. After setting up, I go downstairs to my own bedroom to see my clothes laid out which included Phil's fox jumper and skinny jeans with a flower crown and my earring I never wear. This outfit didn't really bother me as off camera I always stole Phil's clothing, this jumper being one of my favorite items, but on camera was a different story. We haven't come out to the fans and wearing Phil's jumper may cause more suspension than anything. I put on the clothing and run up to the office where Phil was ready with two glasses of ribeana.

"Aww. You look adorable and squishy." He comes over and pulls me close, kissing my lips. "I love you in my clothes."

I move away from him and we sit down, ready to film. The game slowly loads while Phil and I do our intro. "Now you may be wondering why Dan is wearing this outfit. He lost a bet to me and this outfit is his punishment."

"This jumper is pretty comfy though, might steal it." Phil and I lock eyes, was that too domestic, too much insight? Phil mouths 'it's okay' and we carry on with the crazy sim video.

The video takes about an two hours to film and then I start the editing since Phil had to run to the store. All my mind could think about was what the other Dan said in the weird reality. Phil is ready to do it. I kept asking myself am I ready. I love him dearly and I don't want to keep him any longer. This stops my intense editing as I decide to set up some things to set the mood. I grab a couple candles we haven't lit and hoped Phil had some condoms around. I don't light them yet and then I grab a bottle of wine out of the cabinet in the kitchen and put that near the candles. I figured I would let the rest happen. I look to the clock seeing it was around five and I start dinner.

When I am almost finished, Phil walks in and puts the stuff he bought in his bedroom before coming over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist before spotting the wine and walking over to grab it. "Our special occasion wine? It's not our anniversary. Dan, what is it?" I take my eyes off the food for a couple seconds to look at him.

"I want to have sex." I mumble, cheeks flashing red.

"I can't understand you when you mumble, love." He says, sweetly.

"I…" I turn the heat down on the food so I could properly look at him. "I want to have sex with you." Phil's eyes widen, like he is processing the words.

"Dan…Are you sure? We haven't-I don't want to-" I shake my head.

"I want to, Phil. If you want to that is?" Phil nods a couple times.

"Of course I want to. I love you." He states and I smile.

"Love you too." Phil kisses my lips and grabs the candles before retreating to the bedroom.

We eat dinner and I contemplate telling him everything. I figure this would be a better thing to talk about after everything though as I didn’t want to ruin the mood. After finishing an episode of Black Mirror, Phil leads me to his bedroom where I see candles set up. He goes around and lights them.

I sit down on his bed and soon he comes over to me. He starts to kiss my lips slowly and gently. Phil places his hand under the jumper as he guides his tongue into my mouth. I place my arms around his neck as he lowers me into the pillows. I was starting to get hot in my jumper and stop kissing Phil to take it off. He almost automatically places his lips on my stomach and I tug at his shirt to get his to take it off. He gets my hint and throws it off. I place my mouth on his neck and bite down making him gasp. I make sure to give him a hickey. I see another one on the other side, and I frown knowing it was other Dan. But it's still me, so I guess it's okay.

"Hey babe, can I unbutton your jeans?" He asks.

"Yeah, yeah." He smiles and I kiss his forehead. He slips my jeans down to my ankles for me to kick off. He starts to take off his jeans as well and throws them on the floor.

The both of us were left in boxers. I put my lips on Phil's to bring him into a heavy make out session. I rub my crotch against his multiple times to rile him up some more before I ask breathlessly, "May I take off your boxers?" Phil nods and I pull his boxers down. I've seen Phil naked a couple times before so nothing was really a surprise but his body always left me to ask how I could end up with someone so beautiful.

"May I…"

"Yeah." Phil takes off my boxers and we are left naked. Both with hard on's and I was so ready.

I do what Phil tells me. This is both our first time having sex with the same gender so it was weird for the both of us, but Phil stayed patient as I get used to the feeling of everything. Before I know it, he is thrusting into me, and though it felt weird, it felt amazing.

Afterwards, Phil lies me down in bed, both of us blissed out and sweaty. "Love you, bear."

"Love you too, lovely."

It's the next morning. Phil was on his phone beside me, waiting for me to wake up. He smiles down at me. "Last night…"

"Amazing." I reply.

"Yeah." He says, lazily kissing my lips.

"Phil, may I tell you something crazy?" Phil looks over to me, eyes sparkling.

"Hmm."

"I went to a parallel universe." Phil starts to laugh. "I switched places with this other Dan who was an author."

"You're not joking are you?" I shake my head. "That’s why you were acting so weird?"

"Yeah that was the other Dan." Phil ends up laughing and making retell everything that happened in pure fascination.

"I met you… You wore flower crowns and wrote a book called Houseplants." 

"The Dan and Phil AU gone wrong." He inquirers.

"Pretty much."

This is why I love Phil. He is so perfect. Like out of a book. I never took into account how lucky I am to have Phil. Beautiful Buffy loving Phil. I love him more than anything. I want to be with him forever and a day. I don't know how I survived without him and I know I can't leave him which is why I suggest,

"Phil, marry me?" This shocks him. He looks at me like I'm crazy for an all of two seconds.

"Dan, where did this-"

"Will you marry me?" I ask again.

"Yes of course. I love you. I love you. I love you." We kiss. Now I know I'll never have to live without Phil.


	7. Seven

Someone is violently shaking my shoulder, waking me up out of a deep slumber. "You fell asleep again. Come to bed." He says and drags me away from my art to lead me into our bedroom. He lies me down, I almost immediately fall back asleep. He joins me and cuddles near me for us to both fall soundly asleep before a baby crying wakes us up.

"I got it, you sleep." He says, rushing out of the room to calm the crying. I can hear his sweet sounding singing through the baby monitor which lulls me to a peaceful sleep.

Our little boy starts to grow up, claiming he can travel across the universes, see the choices we didn't chose and see our lives. Phil and I think it's an over-active imagination from exposing him to too many paint fumes and weird galaxy themed paintings. He claims it's true. That adults can’t see it because we have accepted the lives chosen for us, yet he is still a child and still has twenty thousand different paths to take.

"I saw a different of yours, Papa." He exclaims to Phil. "You were a writer and so was Daddy." I laugh and ruffle his hair. Phil was anything but an author, he is a philosophy teacher while I am an artist.

"That's cute, sweetie." I say.

"You believe me, right Papa?" He says.

"Course, little planet explorer." My little boy smiles and continues to dream up his fantasy universe.

∞

Everysince I was young I could see the stars. I could hop from one to another. I could travel to a different planet the moment I close my eyes and experience it all. I remember my first universe hopping experience. I went into a universe where my parents had different occupanions. They were together, though I could see the hurt in my father's eyes as he told me the stories of his trip. He explained of a better reality that was made a happier one.

I see it all. The choices and outcomes before I even make them. I choose the one to take and go and see the other outcomes later. I can do this for other people as well. Dad says this is just a figment of my imagination. Though I believe it's a special ablity. I am sixteen. Wouldn't it of gone away by now if it was only childish inabition? If this was all my imagination, why could I go into different universes and come back at the exact same moment I left even though I was gone for days.

I think Papa is even thinking I'm crazy. I can tell he and Dad are thinking of sending me somewhere. Though they can never hurt me when I am up in the clouds. When I go and visit other versions of my parents. My favorites being the YouTuber ones. They have pretty much taken me in. I go and visit them often when life is too much. They set up a bed for me and everything. Even Carla, their dog, has started to reconize me as well as their child, Eden.

The YouTuber Dan tells me about his experiences with Parallel Universes and I explain to him how that happens with me every single second. I can jump in and out of those Parallels. He believes me more than Dad and Papa ever had. I wish I could live in that reality. Though that would take a soul transplant and I haven't exactly figured out how to stay in one universe for more than a few days yet or perform a soul transplant.

I let myself go to that universe alot as well as others. I can go to a place with yellow grass and blue trees or hop along the stars in space to my own parallel universe and my own futures. It's quite amazing. I'm my own explorer of universes. No one believes me, though I believe myself and one day I'll live in a society that will accept space traveling people.

There are small aspects of my own universes I enjoy. I enjoy getting lost in Dad's art or Papa's pancakes on Sunday mornings. I enjoy my visits with Uncle PJ where he teaches me everything I need to know about hopping from one universe to another. He promises me he will teach me the soul transplant if that's really want my heart wants. I tell him, 'yes.' He tells me next time I stay over for the weekend. I like the idea that maybe I'll get a dog. I like my mountain of books. I like my glow in the dark stars that present themselves on my ceiling.

I go to Uncle PJ's that next weekend. I hug my parents goodbye, I had told them yesterday about the whole thing. They shook their heads and made sounds of disappointment. Little did they know. I go inside. PJ leads me to the living room where I drop my galaxy backpack and sit with him on the floor. "You sure you want to do this, little buddy?" I nod.

"Everyone thinks I'm crazy here. In this other universe, no one questions me." PJ chuckles.

"I'll come with you to whatever universe, yeah? Then he can travel the universes together." I smile widely.

"Yeah, yeah. I like that!" He chuckles at me. I grab my backpack, listening lightly to what Peej is telling me to do, and I let myself relax to travel to the universe with YouTuber Dan and Phil. I see the galaxies fly around in my mind.

I spot their house that is right outside of the City of Manchester. I knock on the door and Phil answers the door, smiling at me. I can hear PJ whispering quietly in my ear, telling me that he would arrive soon, but I needed to ask them if I am allowed to join their universe, since they are techinally my parents. He brings me inside and sits me down at their breakfast bar. I can see him making me a cup of tea, knowing spermint is my favorite, they always keep some around for my visits.  Carla come sup and brushes againist my leg, I reach down and pet her.

"You here for a visit?" Phil asks me and I nod.

"Well actually I want to stay here." He looks at my from across the breakfast bar. "I need your premission. My uncle PJ is coming too. I'll live with him most likely, I just need to have this-"

"Of course you have my premission. We love you, Ash. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want. We have that extra bedroom."

I hear footsteps and see Eden come across the corner. She gets more beautiful everytime I see her, though inter-parallel universe love was complicated and things. But she is gosh darn beautiful. She has tan skin and shoulder length brown hair that's been cut since my last visit and almost gray eyes. "Ash, hey." She says.

"Hullo." I say, my accent sounding different againist hers since i grew up in London and her in Manchester. She comes and sits her short body in a stool next to mine. Phil gives me my mug of tea and I take a sip.

"How's space?" I've taken Eden with me on a few trips to my universe and across the stars. I think she has a little bit of planet explorer in her but she refused to use it to travel like Peej and me.

"It's cool." I respond, taking another sip of tea.

"Ash is going to stay with us for awhile." She looks at me in disbelief.

"I don't like home. My parents are going to send me to the looney bin. My uncle is going to help me with a soul transplant." She nodded along like she knew exactly what I was talking about even if she didn't."Where's Dan?"

"Editing a video, I think." Phil responds, Carla barking in response. I grab my mug and walk upstairs to where Dan's office is. I go in and see him there.

I tap his shoulder and he jumps back but relaxs after seeing it's me. He pulls me into a hug and I enjoy his warmth. My parents never hug me. They stay their distance, scared i mean give them the illness of crazy. I don't know hwo or why they are friends with PJ. I guess he doesn't mention it around them.

"I'm staying with you for a while." I state.

"You finally left, ay?" He asks, scruffing up my curly Auburn hair.

"Yeah. I like it here much better." i could vaguely see my parents back at home, they hopefully won't realize I'm gone.

"I'm glad." I sit on the couch in the room while Dan finishes editting and I drink my tea. I let my mind wander and I'm hopping star to star like PJ told me to do. I would have to climb to the highest star and request a soul transplant. They would deem you worthy or not and send you on your way. PJ said he's done this plenty of times and they've always granted it to him.

I climb the stars left and right, seeing all these other parrallel universes of my life and of my parent's. I take a glance in the Author one and see Phil kissing Dan passionally. I couldn't tell if it is a good or bad scenerio. I continue to climb. I see a universe where I stay at home, I get sent somewhere where my planet exploring ablities are taken away, I look dull and lifeless. I guess that's what my parents want, a robot of a boy. I finally reach the top.

There is a booth at the top with a man on the other side. He is tall and has the galaxies in his eyes. "Ashbe Howell-Lester. Soul Transplant." The man looks at me. I can tell he is reading my universes. Seeing the one I'm born in to the one I want to live in. He sees my future in both and nods, sending me back to the universe in which I want to live in.

I'm a bed. My glow in the dark stars on the ceiling though this isn't the bedroom I'm used to. PJ is by my side. "Hey sleepyhead, how was the transplant." I'm confused, really confused. "This is our house. When you were getting transfered, I fixed up this place. We are theorically in the same house I've always lived in though I fixed it up." I nod. My body shaking with adrenline from the climbing of the stars.

"Do you feel alright? Sometimes I get nauseous after the switch." I shake my head. "Well get up, we have universes and galaxies to go visit. Up you go. Plus I need to check in on your parents, both in this universe and your previous one. We don't have all day, little planet explorer."

I get up and go into my backpack for some fresh clothes and go into this new universe with PJ leading me. He states he has visited this one multiple times, spent his university years here. He is good friends with Dan and Phil. We travel by train to get to London, from there we take a taxi. I run inside, PJ laughing as he goes to catch up with Dan and Phil while I go upstairs to Eden's room. I can hear her reciting poetry, its normally stuff she's written. I decide to listen through the door, not wanting to interrupt.

_Space Boy,_

_Oh Space Boy,_

_How do you live._

_Going form one universe to another,_

_Space Boy,_

_Oh Space Boy,_

_Do you count the time,_

_As it rushes beside you trying to chime._

_Space Boy,_

_Oh Space Boy,_

_Do you even see,_

_If you stay for one second to drink some tea,_

_You could spot the galaxies here,_

_Without leaving me be,_

_Space Boy,_

_Oh Space Boy stay here with me._

I knock on the door. I see thousands of different possiblities of the outcome. I see all the different parallel universes running around my head. I try to keep in this moment, to not look to the other possiblities. But I will go to whatever that leads me to her because that's what these universes do, they bring people together or tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't exactly know what this ending is but I love it. PJ inspires me and this just came to mind when thinking of an end chapter. Hope you enjoyed, Becky xx


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